Skip to main content

This Moment


…it feels hard, it is hard.

I feel like I am drowning in the pool of my fears and dragged further down by the hand of uncertainties. This moment, I try to breathe. It’s hard.

It’s like I am suffocating. One moment, it looks like I have it all put together. The other, it’s like I am lost, again.

This moment, is sad, for me and maybe someone else too. I am tired. My heart feels tired too from the constant struggle to finding and becoming. Deep down, the root of my heart still has some strength left, some smiles left, and perhaps a few words.

Maybe a little more drive to push, just maybe what they call luck will shine on me too.

Just maybe.

But this moment, I just allow the pain. I just allow it to envelope me. I try not to rush over it or allow it to seal its flap over me because I know that would be too hard to come out of.

I have once been there, it’s not a good place to be.

This moment, I am praying and hoping that tomorrow will be better. That the sun will melt the stone in my heart and wash the pain off. That indeed, a moment will come, sometime soon when all of these will be once upon a time.

But this moment, right now, I lay down, soaked in my tears, my lips sealed but my heart wailing.

I close my eyes this moment and hope to see the sun on the other side.

 Love & Light,

TA

 P.S – If you are reading this, and feeling this way or maybe worse, hang in there. You will be fine, if only you choose hope and light. You will be fine!

 



Labels:
Location: Lagos, Nigeria

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

For My G.Ma - Felicia

I never knew I would miss her this much. People never understood why I love Christmas. I didn’t quite get it too – apart   from the bursting joy of the birth of Christ, the melodious songs and beautiful decorations; there was more to the super hyper and lovey-dovey feeling I always have this season. So, I was scrolling through my phone gallery and saw the last photo I had with my G.Ma. Oh by the way, Christmas was her birth and death day. I’m writing this because of her. Just to share a bit of her awesomeness with you. That woman was a bad-ass! Reminiscing on my childhood memories with her, I realized she was the reason I love Christmas. I usually spent my Christmas and New-Year holidays with her as a child. She would take me to her church and ask the priest to allow me join other children in the Christmas carol rehearsals and performances. She would take me to the salon and have my hair done and accessorized. I hated making my hair, it was just too stressf...
14 comments
Read more

Killings in South Africa

I read and saw pathetic images of the killings of black foreigners by South Africans who are claiming or angry that these foreigners are taking up all available jobs and congesting available facilities and they also claim they are illegal immigrants. Read up the story captured by Al Jazeera below: 'Thousands of people have attended a march in South Africa's coastal city of Durban in solidarity with the country's foreign nationals.
Post a Comment
Read more

Holding On

I have this funny habit of keeping things, empty jars, old items, phone boxes, receipts…all in the idea of ‘I might still find it useful sometime soon’ .  While you may think this post is about you holding on to something, actually, it is on the exact opposite – letting go. So, some days ago, it was raining. I was in the house and the delivery guy had called my phone to receive a package. I grabbed my umbrella, held my phone, actually I was talking to another person over the phone. Irritated by the little stagnant water I might have to jump over while trying to open the umbrella.  Then something came off. The umbrella couldn’t open well and I struggled with it for a while and then it opened but I had broken the spring that regulates the whole thing.  I got back inside, unable to close the umbrella. It was still relatively new, big, and strong too. My impatience and attempt at juggling too many things at the same time caused this, I said to myself. I wasn’t ready to disc...
4 comments
Read more