African Flower

African Flower

I was at a singles event last month and had only attended because I was bored. Plus, I didn’t want to give in to the usual temptation of staying indoors all weekend, which I weirdly enjoy. So, I shared the invite with another friend and off we went.

At the event, I met another beautiful lady. She sat next to me and we got talking. 

Myth number 1: Women are likely to be more warm and receptive at a gathering to men than fellow women.

In as much as this might seem correct, I think it has nothing to do with gender. It’s only natural to be attracted to the opposite sex and attraction in my opinion is personal. In fact, it actually takes two to tango and the first move has to start with or by someone.

So, throw away that myth that makes you feel, the woman standing or sitting close to you would likely snob you, if you said ‘hello’. The sad reality is that Unpleasant people are simply unpleasant irrespective of the gender. Some other times, they are not just in the ‘mood’. Say your ‘hellos’ with a smile anyways and move on – period.

Back to the discussion, remember it was a singles event and you probably have an idea of what would be discussed. So, my new friend said something in the course of our chat – I wasn’t entirely sure I agreed with it but, I understood what she was saying.

She said, “Women are like flowers. There is a season men would rush to pluck the flower and there is a season, fewer men would come and then, no one.’

I nodded in agreement but my eyes and mind found it unsettling to accept. This morning, while walking back home from my exercise, those words re-echoed in my mind.

I wondered where it had been hiding because I didn’t think much of it since I left the event. Then, I thought about this flower analogy that, I have also heard a thousand times from people – we all know why and when they say these things.

I remembered also almost immediately a part of the bible verse we recite in church after every service – ‘I am like a tree planted by the rivers of water, I bear fruits in and out of seasons…’ emphasis on ‘in and out of seasons’.

Then, I said aloud to myself, I am not an ‘African flower’ that blooms and fades. I am not an African flower that fades because it wasn’t plucked by ‘anybody’.      

I am not an African flower that is rushed by ‘everybody’ either. It’s okay for many to admire and I am certainly not an African flower that will seize to be admired or desired all seasons even till my dying old age!

It felt good to debunk that idea off my system and mind. I didn’t need it there and I knew I needed more women who can connect with it to know as well.

Let no culture or societal beliefs created by people decide who you are or where you should be. You are beautiful, a beautiful flower – and girl you blossom all seasons!

Love & Light,

TA