Skip to main content

Grief!

 

Image Source: Google 

It’s been a couple of months and it seemed like I had almost completely forgotten what that feeling was - grief.

The first two months of the year were a hit that hurts. The loss of two loved ones - people I had beautiful childhood memories of and with.  People whose memories may never fade away, because somehow, I will always remember - there will be something, someday, some date that will make me remember.

I remember not knowing how to cry or mourn - my heart was too tired even though it hurt, badly. I just didn’t know how, anymore.

This night as I lay in my bed, in the dark, and thinking about random things. Things that made me smile, it’s 11:19pm and my mind keeps wandering like a lost child in the forest - okay, I tried sounding poetic there.

The point is, I just couldn’t sleep – my mind wandered into hidden memories from last month and the month before. Then, suddenly my heart and eyes starts to swell and I start to cry, again.

Then I remember that I will never see them again. I am looking for how to end this on a warm note but I don’t know how. So, I will leave it just as it is - as my heart feels right now.

I know, sleep will eventually come and I will wake up refreshed by morning, thankful for a new day - for those of us, living and breathing.

That in itself is a gift and it makes me smile. Oh, you see, somehow my heart and fingers have found a warm ground to end this.

Love always,

TA


Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

For My G.Ma - Felicia

I never knew I would miss her this much. People never understood why I love Christmas. I didn’t quite get it too – apart   from the bursting joy of the birth of Christ, the melodious songs and beautiful decorations; there was more to the super hyper and lovey-dovey feeling I always have this season. So, I was scrolling through my phone gallery and saw the last photo I had with my G.Ma. Oh by the way, Christmas was her birth and death day. I’m writing this because of her. Just to share a bit of her awesomeness with you. That woman was a bad-ass! Reminiscing on my childhood memories with her, I realized she was the reason I love Christmas. I usually spent my Christmas and New-Year holidays with her as a child. She would take me to her church and ask the priest to allow me join other children in the Christmas carol rehearsals and performances. She would take me to the salon and have my hair done and accessorized. I hated making my hair, it was just too stressf...
14 comments
Read more

Life

It seems like the only thing we leave behind besides legacy are the memories we create and imprint in the hearts of the people we love, have met, or cared for. Legacy, in my opinion, is formed out of memories – where we’ve been, the things that we did, our goals and accomplishments, even failures. The older I get, the more I think I’m beginning to understand the true essence of life. I hope I do. One moment, the people we love, know, or care about are here and the next they are gone. Tell me again, why we clench our fists as a new-born and let it all out when we leave? Or why we make loud noises in the announcement of our arrival and walk away in silence, sometimes without notice. Is life that meaningless, as the words of the king in Jerusalem, son of David? I never entirely fully agreed with some of his words in Ecclesiastes, the idea of it is very understandable though, actually very deep for one who has seen it all, I suppose.   ‘One generation goes its way, the next one...
Post a Comment
Read more

Story

In this journey called life, where moments and seasons appear like stories that would become history and re-cycled in the future.  This story in which all must play a part, big or small, voluntarily or forcefully; somehow you are in the loop - it is the circle of life.  This story of life, some of us would write it; some would tell it; some would invent it; some would create it; some would act it; some would direct its sequence; some would learn and build from it; some would fight for it; some would die for it; some others would passively watch it.  In the end, you alone will choose what narrative you want your scene in the story of life to look like. Remember you are in the story, no one said you couldn’t be the story! In this journey called life, where moments and seasons appear like stories that would become history and re-cycled in the future. This story in which all must play a part, big or small, voluntarily or forcefully; somehow you are in the loop - it is the...
Post a Comment
Read more